PART 2 – Mr. Right / Miss Right – What About Romance?
Last week’s PowerPak, regarding finding Mr. Right or Miss Right, elicited a record number of responses and opinions from you all. Interestingly, despite the variety of comments, mix of single and married respondents, males and females, there was a remarkable consistency in all of them. They all seemed to agree that—forget about perfect—there is no such thing as an ideal marriage. That to love any partner, mate or spouse, requires you to deal with the tough parts of human personality, weaknesses and habits. That love demands compromises in order to feel affection for the undesirable and even the irritating.
What about the Cinderella dream? What about the Prince Charming who is going to rescue her and make her life wonderful? I do wonder how much marital trauma society imposes on our young, when they learn from early that marriage is supposed to be some kind of euphoria, and then they are forced to contend with the blunt edge of human personality in their mates. And I do wonder how many women shall forever remain unmarried or miserably married because Mr. Right did not appear. What have we done in fooling our children with this mistaken notion?
Questions: So, if all that be true, what about the starry-eyed state of romance—should we just adopt a pragmatic view of love relationships and stop setting up ourselves for disappointment? If we all know that the magic of the honeymoon will eventually lead us to see the ugly underbelly of our spouse, shouldn’t we skip it and agree to enjoy the sex, small talk and companionship? Why fool ourselves and make the fall harder? Input below….
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This is a great topic Alvin and it is forcing us to make sober assessment of expectation both from ourselves and from future and or current partners.
Yes, I do believe there is the “Cinderella” and “Prince Charming but that comes package in an endless variety of human personalities. Such personalities may need certain triggers that you the partner may never know nor willing to work with. The person may not even know what stimulate their best romantic and or loving self to come out. I am convinced that relationships are a journey of self-discovery where you must present the first pieces of the tresure such as goodness, kindness, love, caring, seeing value in the other person, etc to effectively make your first positive step in that direction. It will be very difficult for you to know if you are your partner’s Cinderella” or “Prince Charming” if you have nothing to give.
Note; It is not about discovering what the other person is or will be to you, that will come but rather, discovering about your own self. It must be your partner to pronounce you to be their “Cinderella” or “Prince Charming” and not for you to blow your own horn that you are. This is what the “seasoned” adults in relationship are to help our young and inexperience to understand. It is also important that well adjusted loving partners make themselves available to help shepherd the misguided and disappointed when they feel challenged in their own relationship.