#6 Reason you Win or Lose–The Good Life!

#6 Reason you Win or Lose–The Good Life!

#6 of 7—The Game of Life

Let’s talk about the game of life and how to win and experience the good life. Our previous conversation addressed Having a Coach as the #7 of 7 requirements to win; #6 is knowing and following the rules of the game. Imagine a relay runner who tossed away the baton because he thought he’d run faster without it. Imagine a potential 200 meters champion in lane 2 who, for expediency, cuts into Lane 1. Even if they are the fastest runners in the world, they will be disqualified and fail to earn the prize.

So you say you want success in the game of life; are you an avid student of the game, learning the rules and strategies, or are you simply going as fast as possible and working as hard as you can?

In your area of interest, polish your technical competency beyond the competition—do not just pray to be in the right place at the right time. Study the life and works of the top two to three people in your field; and learn how to deliver superior value and market what you offer.

Finally, when last did you go to a workshop, read a book or take a course on personal development? One of the rules of the game is that you must improve in order for your results to improve sustainably. The game is fine, start working harder on you.

For #5, check the next edition. 😊

QUESTIONS
— How do you explain someone who has been a personal development student and practitioner for years, but still has not achieved the success desired?
— What if you are running just to enjoy being a part of the game of life—is winning everything?

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#7 Reason you Win or Lose–The Good Life!

#7 Reason you Win or Lose–The Good Life!

Let’s talk about how to win and experience the good life. Most of us love the metaphor of running and winning. It can produce real goodies—gold, plus fulfillment, fame, fortune and financial rewards. Yet, on the athletics field, eight run and only one gets gold—only 12.5% access the goodies of the game. This is sad, but not nearly as sad as the real thing; in the true game of life, educated estimates of those who win, range from 5% to 2%.

Virtually all of us run. So why do so few of us win?  There are seven predominant reasons. This is based of people and client companies in my consulting career spanning close to 30 years in countries across the world.

#7: Running without the Help of a Coach.

Even the naturally gifted runner needs the voice of experience, a strategist who has a view from the outside and a qualified expert who demands accountability. Who is that person in your life? Who is your go-to person for constructive advice, encouragement and tough love? You will not get the gold without someone to be the voice of reason, persistence and performance—especially when the game gets tough. Find a coach!

For #6, check back next week. 😊

QUESTIONS:
Can you guess what the other six are?
What do you think are the most critical factors in finding success in life—however you define success? This is your chance to help others with your philosophy on winning and living the good life. Rank your factors by number with #1 as the most important.

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Live Fully and Out Loud!

Live Fully and Out Loud!

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ― Oscar Wilde

Live fully and be you. It is all well and good to have heroes you emulate and superstars you adore, but too many people spend their lives yearning to be someone else. It is bad enough never to be satisfied with who you truly are, but far worse never to discover who you are—never to blossom, bloom and become your full self.

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching;
Love like you’ll never be hurt;
Sing like there’s nobody listening;
And live like it’s heaven on earth.”
                      –William W. Purkey

After all your achievements that gratify others’ expectations—after your best efforts on the ladder of success—true happiness will elude you until you begin to live in full expression of you.

Per Bernard M. Baruch: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” 

QUESTIONS:
Many forces seek to inhibit freedom of self-expression. As examples: Corporate culture demands conformity to their rules of professionalism; political correctness puts social taboos on free expression; and, religion requires that you transform from who you are to who you ought to be. But…
— What about authenticity?
— How can one be free?
— Is freedom overrated?

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Power & Gentleness

Power & Gentleness

“Make the high places low and the low places high”

When you are truly successful, your power and gentleness come together in balanced harmony. When you feel proud, lifted up and self-satisfied with your talents—when you have a heightened sense of personal importance, then take this potion: Remember, you use the toilet like other humans; you have a history of errors and failures; and, one day you will die, rot and emit—shall we say—not the best of fragrances. Step down.

When you feel discouraged and overwhelmed—inadequate and incapable—when your faults and failures hang your head and heart down low, then take this potion: Remember that you are the most marvelous creation of all life forms, in your thinking, language and imagination;  that your fibers and sinews were uniquely handmade—fashioned by the hand of God; that you are an abundant, multiplying marvel of nature, as your body produces 25,000,000 new cells every second…greater than the population of Texas or New York—every second. Step up!

QUESTIONS:
1.  How does one do both—be extremely humble and extremely achievement-driven, success-oriented—at the same time?
2.  How does one know when one has gone too far one way or the other?

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Professional Distance

Professional Distance

If you manage or supervise people, this is a critical leadership strategy that, one day, will keep you out of trouble, particularly if you are naturally friendly and approachable.

Between you and your people, it is necessary to establish professional distance. That is a slight, delicate zone of separation between you and them, even as you continue to be friendly and approachable.

Get too close emotionally or physically and you will eventually encounter occasions when good business decisions have to be compromised, due to the effects such decisions would have on the friendship. Objectivity and professionalism come under fire when the person affected begins to leverage the relationship and the implied bonds of loyalty the friendship.

No universal law mandates that you can’t fraternize with those you lead, but tread carefully. The rules of good friendship and of good business relationships are very different and often operate at cross purposes. When you go to a party with your subordinates: don’t let your hair down completely; avoid being the last person to leave; don’t drink and lose your judgment; be sure not to laugh at dirty jokes; and simply keep certain boundaries intact. Yes, have fun and be a real person, but maintain a slight but respectable distance.

After all, if there is not space between you and those you lead, are you really leading?

Questions:

  1. But doesn’t a boss need to be transparent, authentic and empathetic?
  2. And doesn’t this professional distance widen the gaps between staff and management, negatively impacting employee engagement and productivity?
The Good Is Bad

The Good Is Bad

Everything you believe to be an indispensable requirement for success is wrong—at some point or other. If you will be a success, then throw out any concept you may have of absolute truth or 100% dependable reality. Challenge: Give me examples of attributes that are always good or always true:

  • Persistence? No, without a time to quit and an exit strategy, persistence can lead to ruin.
  • Communication skills? No, there are times when zero communication is best.
  • Optimism? No, being an unvarying optimist predisposes you to naivete and trusting deceivers.

How about the absolutely wrong or bad ones such as fear, procrastination or even killing a person?  Just think; in every case, there is a time when it is the good and right decision and the counterpart is bad.

Conclusions: 1) Unbending dogma can make you look foolish. There is a time for everything under the sun—a time when the good is bad and the bad is good.  2) There is not secret of success. Stop looking for a guru to make your life or business successful. Yes; study experts, but with caution, as every one of their principles is wrong—at some point or other. To attain success truly, you must first become a success yourself by learning to adapt truth to circumstance.

QUESTIONS: So, doesn’t this philosophy promote situational ethics which is a bad thing? And what about the notion of God and absolute truth? 

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